Many women ask me about our coaching, "It's going to help me have a healthy relationship with food, right?" I am always taken aback by how to respond to that. Relationship with food? I know what they mean, but that phrase never sits right with me. I implore you to really stop and think about what those words imply, and how that implication can be a stumbling block in your process.
A "relationship with food" doesn't exist. Food is a resource that either gets consumed or goes stale. There is no relationship that exists - it doesn't care how you feel or what you think; food has no feelings or thoughts. Relationships, by definition, only exist when there is an involvement and/or emotional connection between two people. If you feel you have an emotional connection to food, we get that. But that is not any kind of relationship, because trust us, food has no emotional connection to you. If it were any kind of relationship, it could only be compared to that of unrequited love, a one-way relationship. And so, if you want to say you have this relationship, it's a pretty lonely one. To imply this "relationship with food" within yourself is a stumbling block in my opinion, because it's not being honest with yourself. Food couldn't care less about you. Food doesn't know you even exist. If you want to call it a relationship, then I would say, "Get out now!"
The truth is food is not relational, and the only thing you are really dealing with in this process of weight loss is the decisions you make in consuming food. For this decision-making, the relationship The Losing Coach® focuses on is the relationship with yourself. You do have the ability to have an emotional connection and involvement with yourself, to care about yourself, about what you think and what you feel. This relationship is vital. This relationship will help you lose weight. Your relationship is with yourself, not food. Get out of that "relationship" now, because it doesn't exist. You, however, do.
I am the woman that wrote the piece about being morbidly obese and I GET the insult of those words. I have lived them and been shamed by them for way too long. I can remember being in biology class in sixth grade and learning the term obese. I already struggled with being overweight that young and I remember thinking "I will NEVER let myself get to the point I am obese!" I have spent the last ten years, at least, weighing over 300 pounds and I could not for the life of me lose any weight. It was painful and frustrating and humiliating. A couple years ago I had a surgery and I went back and got my report from the hospital afterwards and at the top of the paper the doctor had written ANXIOUS OBESE WHITE FEMALE. That hit me like a ton of bricks! I was determined to be ok with myself at whatever weight I was but in medical terms I was still labeled obese, a word I vowed to never be.
When I started with the Losing Coach and I had already lost some weight I was looking at a BMI indicator to see where I fell and was shocked to see I wasn't actually obese. I was MORBIDLY OBESE. But something had changed in me because I have the confidence now since learning how to lose weight through the Losing Coach that I will not stay at that level for long. In fact, I am almost out of the medically termed morbidly obese category and into the obese category. And I couldn't be more excited. I don't really care what they label me at this point because I know who I am and where I am headed, all thanks to the Losing Coach.
The following was written to us from a workshop participant:
"After a decade of being categorized as morbidly obese, I spent one afternoon at a Losing Coach workshop that literally broke the shell that was holding the fat on my body. I still can’t explain exactly what happened that day but I have no doubt about the changes it made in my body and in my life. I was so anxious and nervous about committing to attend and about spending the money for it when I didn’t know what all it would entail. But I know this now...It is unlike ANY weight loss program or plan I have ever seen.
The new patterns of thinking I gained flow over into literally every area of my life. It’s as if the Losing Coaches went through my brain and switched OFF old negative thoughts and replaced them with brand new shiny thinking. I am STILL EXCITED about my weight loss journey after starting four months ago. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and Valentine’s Day have come and gone and I was able to enjoy each celebration while still losing weight. The best part, though, is knowing that I never ever will have to wonder again about what I need to do to lose weight and I will never ever again be morbidly obese.
The only thing I regret about attending the Losing Coach workshop is that I didn’t listen to myself and do it sooner."
Shelley Johnson is the Creator & Founder of The Losing Coach®.