Are you kind-hearted, kind-minded or both? There's a difference.

Kind-hearted people don't intentionally hurt another.

When you think of a kind-hearted person, you think of someone who's always nice and sweet, that guy or gal that will help you out, lend a supportive ear, or do nice things.

But this is actually different than being kind-minded.

Kind-minded people are intentional about not hurting another.

Read the difference again:

Kind-hearted people don't intentionally hurt another.
Kind-minded people are intentional about not hurting another.

The difference is in intention.

Kind-heartedness comes from an innate gentle nature in your heart (unplanned).
Kind-mindedness comes from an awareness, a well-thought out intention (more planned).

To be kind-minded, one must use their mind, to think, look ahead, strategize, if you will, in considering, if what they say or do could or would lead to a chain reaction of events that would hurt someone.

They consider all their words and actions, how they will be received, the reaction it may provoke in another, and whether it might cause pain or not. 

Think of it like the game of chess, being quite strategic. Every good chess player must be able to think forward, considering all the possible moves and outcomes from their decision. The farther ahead they can think, the more possible outcomes they can consider at one time, the more information they can hold in their head while considering the best move, the better move they will make.

Kind-mindedness is like emotional chess.

Kind-mindedness requires a very high level of emotional intelligence. The farther ahead you can think, the more possible outcomes you can consider at one time, the more information you can hold in your head while considering what you will say or do, the more kind-minded you will be.

I know a lot of kind-hearted people who are not kind-minded. Their heart may be good, but their words and actions hurt people because they do not think ahead with enough consideration of possible outcomes. They may not carefully consider the ramifications of their words or actions.

If you know a kind, good person, who is always hurting people, and not meaning to, they lack kind-mindedness.

Read the difference again:

Kind-hearted people don't intentionally hurt another (but they could unintentionally).
Kind-minded people are intentional about not hurting another (so they make sure they don't).

I have been described as kind-hearted. I know the truth is I am more kind-minded. Well, of course, I hope I'm really both, but I know that what people observe about me is more my kind-mindedness.

The goal is to be both - kind-hearted and kind-minded. With both, you have kindness fully in your character, in heart and mind.

Kindness, specifically, kindness to yourself is what makes my weight loss process so powerful. You will make sure that you bring yourself no harm. Everyone tells me that one of the most poignant moments in Erin's Journey is when I asked her "Haven't you suffered enough?"

Ask yourself, "Haven't you suffered enough?" If you've suffered with your weight for long enough, it's time to be kind-hearted and kind-minded to yourself right now. You can begin today with Online Coaching or by reading My Secret Escape: Restore Your Dignity, Transform Your Body.

Silence is one of the "golden rules" and key principles here at The Losing Coach.  It is the first piece of coaching advice I give women. I say, "I love referrals, but I don't need them."  Keep what you are doing with losing weight private.  Very private.  Extremely private.  100% private.

This privacy is going to empower you in ways you can't imagine until you experience it.  What you are doing, what you are eating, and your own decisions in everything you do with your diet and your weight is no one else's business.  A number of women have been moved to tears in the greatest sense of relief they have ever felt when I tell them to keep it private.  Someone has finally given them the respect and honor that a woman transforming her body deserves. 

When you finally close down comments from the peanut gallery, you realize that your weight issue on display for the world to see and comment on, has been demoralizing to you as a woman.  At the Losing Coach, we protect you from this kind of humiliation by giving you permission to keep this 100% private.
 
Most other weight loss programs do not encourage you to do this.  I do, because I know it will empower you to lose weight.  Other weight loss programs want you to tell the world what you are doing, because they are not really about helping you lose weight for good; they are about growing their business.  In giving them the benefit of the doubt, perhaps they are just not aware of how powerful it is to keep what you are doing private.  Perhaps they don't care about how personal and intimate this journey is for you.

This silence then starts to go both ways.  When we silence ourselves from speaking about our diets, we start to also silence the voices we once listened to, that encroach upon our own decision-making skills, from the diet industry.  The diet industry has made what is so simple (weight loss) so complicated.  The industry has brain-washed people so well, everyone now thinks losing weight is difficult, complicated, and beyond the average person's ability to achieve.  When you silence those voices and pay no attention to the latest fad, the complicated plans, and the co-dependency the diet companies want you to buy into, you will begin to find losing weight is rather simple, you will find the power to lose weight you've always dreamed of having is inside of you! Find it here through The Seven Step Process to Weight Loss Mastery!

My husband slept with a new woman every night. And each woman continued to look younger and sexier than the one before. It's what no woman wants to hear, know, or admit - The new woman is thinner, prettier, and more fun!

Was I jealous? No. Not at all. Because each new woman was me.

During my weight loss, I literally was a new woman every day. People used to ask me what my husband felt about having a wife with such significant weight loss, and I would reply, "Well he loves it! He gets to sleep with a new woman every night!"

He'd often over-hear me say this and smile. He smiled. He would then acknowledge that was the truth.

Now the question is - was he actually more physically attracted to me day by day? Yes and No.

First, trust me, someone who lives with you every day is not going to physically notice the 5 lbs you lost in one month. He was not attracted to the slightly less weight on my body day to day.

What he was attracted to, day by day, was that I was a little less angry, a little less anxious, and a little less closed off to him (and the world.)

I was also a lot more - a lot more happy with myself, more confident, and more physically comfortable in my own skin. Talk about a combination most men are attracted to!

Every night. New woman. And he had my full permission to enjoy each new woman.

Every man's dream come true. I know. :)

Would you like to join me? Contact me to get you started now!