I want to share a brief text conversation with a Shelley's Club member, what it spoke to me, and what it means.
Her: "Major win on the scale this morning! Under 200!"
Me: "OMG!!! That's awesome!!! Wow! Sooooo happy!!! :) <3"
Her: "Me too. Can't wait to celebrate today with good solid decisions and smiles galore :)"
That was it. But her last text there spoke to me and has significant meaning.
First, for any woman that's ever weighed over 200 lbs... you know how significant this kind of milestone is. To no longer be a 200 lb woman is an unbelievable feeling and accomplishment! :)
Here's what her last text spoke to me - she was speaking truth. Her reaction was truthful. I didn't even ask her how, or even if, she was going to celebrate, and she didn't manufacture a response she thought I wanted to hear, or say it for my sake. I've privately coached this client before, and so I know her response was 100% authentic to who she is.
And what about it has significant meaning? The way she was choosing to celebrate her feeling and accomplishment!
She wasn't going to celebrate on the outside. She wasn't going to spend money on "me time" at the spa, not going to go eat a bunch of cake and reverse her feeling and accomplishment, she was simply going to continue on and smile!! :) SMILES GALORE!! :) She was celebrating on the inside!
THAT is what this is all about - the inside. I keep saying feeling and accomplishment. Because it's more than just an accomplishment. This is about a feeling.
And let me fill you in on what she's feeling - pretty darn good about herself. See, she earned this. She and she alone, no one else. The feeling and accomplishment are both 100% hers. She's not about to reverse it, nor does she need external reward. Because it's an internal reward she already has, and she's holding onto it!!
THAT is significant. Albeit subtle, she's had a very significant difference in her experience with weight loss this time than she ever has before.
She's feeling it on the inside. She's earned it. She has her reward. She's not letting go of it.
You will feel the subtle, significant difference when your weight loss is real - the reward is internal.
My client told me, despite how well she was actually succeeding, she felt like her behavior was "erratic" because she had "binged" one night.
She wanted to be more like me...
I encouraged her to remove the judgment. Off herself. And off me. She was judging herself as being bad and judging me, that somehow I was a better person because I didn't have "erratic" behavior... oh really?
Well I'm no better than anyone else... watch this weight loss coaching to understand.
Don't drive yourself to lose weight.
Wait...What? Why is a weight loss coach telling you not to drive yourself to lose weight?
Because I know it doesn't work.
What then? What works if you don't drive yourself? You know... the workouts, the planning, the food choices, the deprivation...the harder I work at it, shouldn't I be able to achieve it? Well... just ask yourself... how has it worked for you so far?
You wonder, well then what the heck am I supposed to do... nothing? Just lay back, relax, lay out in the sun and eat grapes all day? Well, honestly... why not? That would be a great start! :)
You've been driving yourself so hard, you're grinding your gears, and if you're grinding your gears, you're going to blow 'em out quickly. That's why it doesn't work.
Don't forget as I coach in my weight loss coaching, the struggle with weight is like quick sand. And the more you struggle, the deeper you sink. So yes, I really do want you to relax and lean back. Stop struggling.
It's not only possible to lose weight without driving yourself to it, it's more than likely you will have success if you are relaxed and happy.
That's what I'm here to help you with - relaxing and feeling happy! So lean back and relax.
A happy woman is a beautiful woman. Give yourself a break... Your weight will take care of itself. :)
Just start nice and easy here.
Everything actually. Love has everything to do with permanent weight loss.
When a woman struggles with her weight, she is experiencing a lack of Love in one or more of the following ways:
Care, Comfort, Provision or Protection.
In Day 7 of my Online Course, I show how Love is a vital component of weight loss. Love does 4 specific things: Cares, Comforts, Provides and Protects.
Through no fault of her own, when a woman struggles with her weight, there is a lack in her life.
Read that again: Through no fault of her own, there is a lack in her life.
This truth is crucial in being able to get the need met.
The foundation of my process is The Removal of Judgment and the Restoration of Love so that a woman can address The Truth about Weight Loss. My coaching shows women how to do this in very practical, doable steps.
One of the steps that I teach is how to give Care, Comfort, Provision and Protection to yourself.
A woman has both masculine and feminine energies. Usually one more dominate than the other, sometimes equally, but always both.
Your feminine energy receives Care, Comfort, Provision and Protection through The 4 D's:
Desire means you are wanted. You experience being told and shown that who you are, and what you do is welcomed, wanted and worthy of attention.
Dignity means you are honored, respected, and valued. You experience being told and shown that who you are, and what you do is held in the highest esteem...you are seen as and treated like, a queen.
Devotion means you are cherished. You experience being told and shown that who are, and what you do is precious beyond compare, with a worth beyond measure.
Discovery means that you are known. You experience being told and shown that who you are, and what you do is glorious, magical, magnetic, powerful, unique... And there is always space for your voice to be heard.
Your masculine energy receives Care, Comfort, Provision and Protection through The 4 A's:
Acknowledgment means you are recognized. You experience being told and shown that who you are, and what you do is seen and respected.
Affirmation means that you are significant. You experience being told and shown that who you are, and what you do is welcomed, wanted and worthy of respect.
Appreciation means that you are notable. You experience being told and shown that who you are, and what you do is worthy of gratitude and recognition.
Adoration means that you are heroic. You experience being told and shown that who you are, and what you do is worthy of honor and praise...in public and in private.
To experience permanent, stress-free weight loss, you must know where your heart and life are lacking in Love.
How do you discover your area of lack? No psycho-analysis required! I promise!
But it does require learning your dominant experience of Love, knowing whether you are primarily feminine or masculine in your expression of Love, and discovering the unique ways you want and need Loved.
This is my niche at Losing Coach®! Helping you Love yourself so that you can experience the body you've longed for. Being at peace with your self and finally free from the struggle with your weight.
I invite you to contact me and let me help you permanently and in a simple, healthy way, fall in love with your self and lose the weight, once and for all.
My Online Course will get you started immediately!
I can't wait to help you!!
Like John Lennon says, "Some say I'm a dreamer..."
Rings very true for me! I am a dreamer! (Of course, I'm a Pisces, for anyone that appreciates astrology - Pisces is a water sign and we are the dreamers. My sun is in Pisces, my mercury in Pisces, and my north node is in Pisces too! That's A LOT of water, a lot of dreaming! :)) Dreaming is my purpose.
So it's very very true - I. AM. A. DREAMER.
Let me tell you what I've dreamed of.
All my life I was overweight and quite frankly, miserable because of that. I dreamed of being thin my entire life. I dreamed of having a body I felt comfortable in, confident it, and sexy in! I wanted to wear bikinis, I wanted to look and feel attractive...
I wanted what I didn't have. It was painful. But... I never ever stopped dreaming of it.
I held onto my dream.
I couldn't escape it. I couldn't be dishonest with myself and act like I didn't want it. I DID want it. And I wanted it badly!
So here's where I am today - I have actualized my dream. I have the body I've always dreamed of having; I have the body I want.
So now what?
Well... I. AM. A. DREAMER. I never stop dreaming! So what do I dream of now?
I dream for you!
I dream of you being thin. I dream of you having a body you feel comfortable in, confident it, and sexy in! I want you to wear bikinis, I want you to look and feel attractive!!
I want your dream to come true! I want to help you actualize your dream!
Please receive my encouragement! Please let me help you!
You can start right now with my Online Coaching.
This is my purpose now. To help you make your dream come true!
Please. Let me help you. I care so very much about your dream.
If you’re here to find out how to lose weight, I’m going to tell you right here and now. And I can tell you my secret very simply. I can tell you in one sentence.
Not only can I tell you in one sentence, I can tell you in two words – Eat Less.
Yes, that’s right. Eat less. You already know this. That’s not why you’re here – to hear me tell you that. Everyone knows this.
(And in case you don’t believe me, I could lock you up in a cage on a deserted island and prove that eating less will result in weight loss to you real quickly!)
See, you don’t need someone to tell you how to lose weight, because you know how. What you’re wanting is the how to the how to… how do do that? How do you eat less on a day-in and day-out basis to result in the weight loss you desire?
This is what you want. You simply want the ability to eat less. You’ve been convinced you must go do something to lose weight. But you discover very quickly, nothing you can do will give you weight loss results if you’re eating more.
You want the ability to eat less. And the good news is - eating less can actually be pretty effortless if your appetite is decreased. (You know like when you have the stomach flu, and your brain turns off your appetite for a while, it’s super easy to eat less.)
You want your appetite decreased. You honestly don’t need to set aside your life to go do something. You want the ability to eat less.
How do you do that?
You train the brain. You simply train the brain. That’s our entire process.
It’s funny, people would ask me – “How did you lose weight?”
And I think, “I can’t answer that question. How am I supposed to answer that question?"
"Do you want me to tell you scientifically? Emotionally? Psychologically? Spiritually? I can’t answer that question. It was so many things.”
The ability to eat less came from everything I was doing. Remember, this is what you want – the ability to eat less. (You wouldn’t need the ability to eat less… if I could lock you up in a cage on a deserted island. On a deserted Island, you’d lose weight! But you have a life and you don’t want me to lock you up in a cage on a deserted island.)
So now you’re saying “I need the ability to do this for myself. I need the ability to put into practice this process” that will help train your brain to decrease your appetite. It’s a process. So there is no pat answer. I really cannot tell you how I lost weight until you go through the process. And you experience it. Because it’s going to train your brain, which will decrease your appetite, which will give you the ability to put into practice the very thing that you long to do, which is to eat less, to lose weight.
That’s what you want to do. It’s simple. It’s so simple. The science is simple. The psychological part of it. The emotional part of it. The spiritual part of it. It’s really very simple. But it’s not just one thing.
I can help you with everything!! This is what I do. If you want your appetite decreased for the ability to eat less, begin our online coaching today!
Shelley Johnson is the Creator & Founder of The Losing Coach®.