It's Time to Say Goodbye...
Oh man, breaking up is hard to do... All of a sudden, this old saying rings true... the familiarity, the convenience, the security that this long-term relationship brings to you keeps you bound... but when it's time to say goodbye... you will know.
The relationship we have with our fat is hard to part with. I mean, it is familiar, it is convenient, and boy, does staying overweight feel very secure to us... and the idea of being completely done with being overweight just seems so... well, difficult. Because truly, breaking up is very hard to do.
But we never stop dreaming of moving on, of having the body we truly want. If we could only just say goodbye to all the fat that is covering up our bodies. But again, that fat has served us well. Well it has. It's protected us when we needed protection, and in all honestly, allowed us to hide and be hidden when we didn't want to be seen.
But I know I truly do want to end this relationship.
How will you know when it's time to say goodbye? When you can answer YES to these simple three questions:
1. Are you okay with people noticing you, turning heads and all?
2. Can you accept that some people will still not like you even when all the extra fat is gone?
3. Are you prepared to start a new, easy and drama-free relationship with your naturally thin body?
If it's time to say goodbye to your fat.... contact us today; we can help you.
I have so much to be thankful for in my life: my health, my family, my career, my friends. I truly appreciate all the wonderful things the universe has brought to me. Still, I find myself so many times in a state of wanting more… wanting to be better, to be healthier, more active, more successful. I want to weigh less, be more comfortable in my own skin. Even though I say I want these things, I don’t seem to be able to bring them to fruition. I feel frustrated, stressed and angry a lot of the time. When I feel those feelings, I just want to feel better. That makes me seek immediate gratification. i.e. food, sweets, alcohol…. Afterwards, I feel the same anger and frustration with an added sense of failure. I’m so sick of this repeated pattern. I need something different.
It seems easy that if I want a different outcome, I should change my behavior but sometimes emotions overtake my good sense and I just want to do/eat/have something that makes me feel better. I know it’s only a temporary fix but at the moment, I don’t care. I care afterwards… the self-loathing. It’s the poor example I’m setting for my children, all the negatives that go with poor choices. I can’t seem to find anything in life that makes me feel calm and happy. WHY?? …. Maybe I’m more afraid of MEETING my goal than the familiarity of not meeting it….Maybe my biggest fear is that if I lose this weight and STILL don’t find happiness, where do I go from there? What happens if losing the weight doesn’t make me happy?
I feel like my life would be better for sure though, like I wouldn’t hate going shopping and might even enjoy it. I wouldn’t feel self-conscious eating in front of people. I would love to be able to put on anything, anytime, anywhere and in front of anyone and be comfortable. I’ve always had a hard time looking at myself in front of the mirror in a bra and underwear. I purposely avoid it. I don’t want to face what my body looks like. Ruins my day… It would be nice to look in the mirror and actually like and be proud of what I see. I would like to be able to get on the scale and not be freaked out by a number. I would like to “feel” like doing more things. Have more energy. I feel defeated. It sucks that at a time in your life when you have the means to start enjoying your life, you feel incapable of doing the things you want to do. I want to feel attractive again. I feel like when you’re over-weight , people look past you. They don’t notice you.
What I really want is to feel “seen” again. To feel good about myself when I go places but also to feel good about the way I look wherever I am.
I'm tired of feeling like I’m a failure at this. I seem to be able to accomplish everything else I want. Can’t figure out why this is so hard. I do everything right and it doesn’t seem to help. I feel really frustrated….PLEASE HELP!
Have you ever been obsessed with someone? Some thing? I have...
In everything I do with Losing Coach®, from the process I created, to the personal coaching, I seek to honor and speak one thing - truth.
And so let me communicate more truth. The truth is, women are obsessed with their bodies. Their own bodies, not the bodies in magazines, not the bodies on the big screen - their own, very own bodies, they are obsessed with. It's truth. They tell me. All the time. The ones that tell everyone else to "embrace their curves" or "it's all about that bass" (translation: don't worry about your body) tell me in private, in their own words, how obsessed they are with their own bodies.
And...I'm obsessed with my body. Every day. Every single day.
And somehow this simple inherent truth about what it means to be a woman - to nurture, care, comfort, provide, protect, LOVE, and give life with our bodies has now become a hidden, shameful thing every woman must walk around with - "I'm obsessed with it, but I shouldn't be. Shame on me for being so concerned about this." And yet... it's the deepest longing of her heart to have a beautiful body.
This message of shame comes from our family, our friends, our very well-meaning loved ones that love us very much. They are trying to make us feel better about ourselves when they tell us we are just fine the way we are. To which I say, "Thank you very much, but it doesn't make me any less obsessed about my body. Now I feel bad that I feel this way... what is wrong with me?"
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! I know this for a fact. This is truth. There is nothing wrong with you! EVERYTHING you feel about your body, from your dissatisfaction to your obsession is TRUTH resonating inside of you that YOU were created to BE BEAUTIFUL. There is nothing wrong with that! YOU were MEANT to be beautiful! Every woman is. That is TRUTH.
When a client shames herself for "being obsessed" with her weight loss success (yes, they successfully lose weight through Losing Coach® and then feel guilty they are so obsessed with their success!) it makes me smile. I smile and have this conversation with her:
Me: "Let me ask you this. Does your husband work?"
Me: "How often does he bring home a paycheck?"
Her: "Once a week."
Me: "I suppose you like his paycheck, correct?"
Her: "Well yes, of course."
Me: "So he works every day?"
Me: "Of every week?"
Me: "Month after month?"
Me: "Year after year?"
Me: "Geez.... sounds like he's obsessed with that paycheck!" :)
Men are free to pursue careers and money and success and nobody shames them for it. I'm here to tell you - YOU are FREE to pursue success in a beautiful body and not be shamed for it! Come talk to me!!!
Shelley Johnson is the Creator & Founder of The Losing Coach®.