Are you kind-hearted or kind-minded?

Read Shelley's new book, My Secret Escape: Restore Your Dignity, Transform Your Body

Are you kind-hearted, kind-minded or both? There's a difference.

Kind-hearted people don't intentionally hurt another.

When you think of a kind-hearted person, you think of someone who's always nice and sweet, that guy or gal that will help you out, lend a supportive ear, or do nice things.

But this is actually different than being kind-minded.

Kind-minded people are intentional about not hurting another.

Read the difference again:

Kind-hearted people don't intentionally hurt another.
Kind-minded people are intentional about not hurting another.

The difference is in intention.

Kind-heartedness comes from an innate gentle nature in your heart (unplanned).
Kind-mindedness comes from an awareness, a well-thought out intention (more planned).

To be kind-minded, one must use their mind, to think, look ahead, strategize, if you will, in considering, if what they say or do could or would lead to a chain reaction of events that would hurt someone.

They consider all their words and actions, how they will be received, the reaction it may provoke in another, and whether it might cause pain or not. 

Think of it like the game of chess, being quite strategic. Every good chess player must be able to think forward, considering all the possible moves and outcomes from their decision. The farther ahead they can think, the more possible outcomes they can consider at one time, the more information they can hold in their head while considering the best move, the better move they will make.

Kind-mindedness is like emotional chess.

Kind-mindedness requires a very high level of emotional intelligence. The farther ahead you can think, the more possible outcomes you can consider at one time, the more information you can hold in your head while considering what you will say or do, the more kind-minded you will be.

I know a lot of kind-hearted people who are not kind-minded. Their heart may be good, but their words and actions hurt people because they do not think ahead with enough consideration of possible outcomes. They may not carefully consider the ramifications of their words or actions.

If you know a kind, good person, who is always hurting people, and not meaning to, they lack kind-mindedness.

Read the difference again:

Kind-hearted people don't intentionally hurt another (but they could unintentionally).
Kind-minded people are intentional about not hurting another (so they make sure they don't).

I have been described as kind-hearted. I know the truth is I am more kind-minded. Well, of course, I hope I'm really both, but I know that what people observe about me is more my kind-mindedness.

The goal is to be both - kind-hearted and kind-minded. With both, you have kindness fully in your character, in heart and mind.

Kindness, specifically, kindness to yourself is what makes my weight loss process so powerful. You will make sure that you bring yourself no harm. Everyone tells me that one of the most poignant moments in Erin's Journey is when I asked her "Haven't you suffered enough?"

Ask yourself, "Haven't you suffered enough?" If you've suffered with your weight for long enough, it's time to be kind-hearted and kind-minded to yourself right now. You can begin today with Online Coaching or by reading My Secret Escape: Restore Your Dignity, Transform Your Body.

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