One of my barriers to weight loss has been my husband (himself 30 pounds overweight, but still pretty athletic). He pesters me about exercise at least once a week, gives me disapproving looks and at least one innuendo a day.
In the past this has made me react...sometimes to move, sometimes to rebel & not move...often to resent. Sometimes to revenge-eat.
We used to be a very active couple (hiking, biking, skiing, etc).
I want to be active again, and will be, but his constant digging is undermining my progress.
I want to be silent about this. There is such power in keeping it to myself.
But last night (on our "date night"), when he confronted me about not being in shape to go hiking/cycling/whatever-he-wants-to-do-this-weekend-or-any-other- time, I couldn't just look away & say nothing.
We were supposedly "talking" ... trying to work out some of our issues.
I said, "I'm taking care of it." To which he smirked sarcastically.
So did his dig this morning. "You should really start exercising again." Said to me before I had even fully awakened.
I went to bed so happy last night (after watching one of the lessons in Online Coaching) saying to myself over & over, "It's working & I'm losing."
No one else bugs me about this. Just him. What do I do?
Thanks & hugs!
Can you relate to this? Me too!! Here's what I told this precious woman:
I know this is going to sound crazy.... but you asked me what to do....
What to do?
Say THANK YOU.
Seriously. I know... he pesters and bugs you... but the point is to END the conversation as soon as possible. Because that is what will help you.
We need to minimize the arrows that get thrown at you, and if you try to argue back or even say, "Shut up!", those things will only fuel more oxygen to the conversation.
The only thing that will end it is saying, "You're right. Thank you."
Listen, this is not about who is right or who is wrong (he is clearly not being nice).... it's about HELPING YOU succeed!!!
I have been through all of this.... and trust me, just say, "You're right, thank you."
That really should end the conversation. If the conversation does continue, saying, "You're right, thank you" will at least take him off the offensive, and continue in a more gentle way.
Saying, "You're right. Thank you," will really grow your "silent confidence" on the INSIDE!! All you need right now is silent confidence on the inside.... that's it. No trying to prove anything, no arguing, let him think he's "the man", whatever.... this is not about him... it's about you!! :)
Much LOVE to you... xoxo... hope this helps!
I am here to help any woman, any time, succeed at weight loss. This woman who wrote me purchased our Online Coaching. It comes with email support from me...just like what you read above.
Get Online Coaching for yourself today. I'm here for you!
Shelley Johnson is the Creator & Founder of The Losing Coach®.