This blog is for women. Adult, middle-aged women like myself. For women in a loving relationship where sex can be wonderful and life-giving. If this doesn't apply to you, then... don't read ahead.
First, a few disclaimers: I am not a sex therapist. I am not a doctor, relationship counselor, judge, or moral code compass. I am not telling anyone to have sex, not have sex, or why or how to have sex. Far be it from me to tell anyone how to enjoy their own personal life. This blog is about weight loss. By reading ahead, you acknowledge the above disclaimers. :)
Think weight loss starts in the kitchen or grocery store or has anything to do with food? What if I told you... it doesn't start with food at all, it starts with you and your body.
And so... it may start in the bedroom.
Yes. Weight loss starts in the bedroom.
That's right, I'm talking about sex. After all, it is where new life, in general, is conceived.
Women about to begin your weight loss journey... you are beginning a new life.
So WHAT in the world does sex have to do with weight loss? Well, a lot. And it's not because it burns calories or releases wonderful stress-releasing endorphins that make you feel better. After all, I can tell you for me (as is the case for a lot of women), I was previously gaining weight while I was having sex with my husband... so there blows those theories.
So what about my sex life helped me lose weight? It has nothing to do with the physical act of sex.
Then what? What about sex can facilitate successful weight loss for you?
Here it is:
Your ATTITUDE about sex!
Okay... I'm going to get really blunt here... it's about LOVING sex!! I am going to speak bluntly and directly, because I know how so many women around my age feel about sex. It's a chore, a weapon, or leaves you cold. Whatever it is, a lot of times, it's not a good feeling.
Maybe your church has indoctrinated you into believing you must fulfill your man's needs no matter what you are feeling out of proper submission. Then giving your body to sex is a chore. And chores are no fun.
Maybe you've fallen into the habit of manipulating your man with sex, using it as a weapon. Then using your body for sex is a weapon. And weapons hurt people.
Maybe you've just completely turned yourself off to sex for one reason or another and your sex life is as cold as ice. Then abstaining your body from sex is like a freezer. And freezers leave you frozen.
If your sex life is in one of these three states - a chore, a weapon, or a freezer, then I'm guessing you're NOT loving sex and your sex life is not helping you lose weight.
Let me explain. Why must you LOVE sex? Because of what that means to love sex. It means you are not having sex out of obligation (a chore), to hurt anyone (a weapon) or feeling frozen (like a freezer). Because trust me, the only way to truly love sex is when none of those things apply. It means you are having sex out of your own desire, purity of heart, and because it makes you feel warm all over!!
Now here is how this all translates into your weight loss success!!!
When a woman gives her body in sex out of obligation, there will soon not only be resentment, but the belief that her body is not her own. Not having sex out of obligation communicates to your brain that you own your own body. When you take complete ownership of your body, your decisions in managing your weight will reflect this ownership. (This is why often young mothers who have children hanging on them all the time, feel like their bodies are not their own, and they have a really difficult time managing their weight.) Never have sex out of obligation because only you own your body and only you get to decide when you want to have sex. Observe the difference in how you manage your weight when you have 100% ownership of your body.
When a woman uses her body in sex as a weapon, she has the awareness, even if only subconsciously, that her intentions are selfish and the belief that she is bad because of that. Not using sex to hurt anyone communicates to your brain that your heart is pure. When your heart is pure, you know you can trust it. When you trust your heart, your decisions in managing your weight will reflect this trust. Never use sex as a weapon because you don't have intentions to hurt someone and you are not bad; your heart is pure. You can trust your heart and respect all your desires. Respecting your desire to lose weight will mean you lose weight!
When a woman turns herself off from sex and abstains, she steps into the freezer and will soon find herself frozen, completely closed off from receiving physical love. There is just nothing good about this at all. Nothing warm, nothing life-giving, no communication of love for her body to receive. Physical love is simply love communicated physically. That's what sex can give you - the opportunity to receive love, love communicated directly to your body. Why put that in the freezer? Are you saving it for the future? Well, last I checked, all of us middle-aged women aren't getting any younger... just sayin'. :) Step out of the freezer and give your body some heat. Watch the pounds melt off!
So what does this loving sex attitude really mean for you, your body and your brain?
It means you love your body. It means you love the experience of sex for yourself. You love your body through receiving sex and you love your partner through giving your body, creating an infinite loop of giving and receiving. This infinity loop communicates powerful messages to your brain.
If you really love sex, not only does it communicate that YOU are worthy of LOVE, but also that you have permission to take pleasure in your body. Taking pleasure in your body means you seek for it to please you with the way it looks and feels! Weight loss! :)
I want you to LOVE having sex. I want you to LOVE it for yourself. Enjoy it for yourself. Receive it as an expression of LOVE. An expression of LOVE for you and your body.
Make love for yourself, women. Make love for yourself. And that's all I got to say about that.
Again, not a sex therapist. Not a moral code compass. Just my personal beliefs. And experiences with successful weight loss.
I can help you experience successful weight loss! That's what I specialize in! :)
I am here to help you get the body you want... and maybe enjoy your sex life more! ;)
Shelley Johnson is the Creator & Founder of The Losing Coach®.